Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Afraid of the Dark
The past few days have had an unusual "dark" twist that ended yesterday in a moment of blissful healing!
My life is full of beautiful moments of bright light and spiritual illumination. When I find myself in pain or frustrated, I look for the cause inside and help it release. So, I was surprised on Saturday night when I felt a strong "dark" presence waiting for me as I laid down for bed. I had taught a beautiful workshop during the day on "Sacred Heart Healing". The day included teaching about being a healer as well as activation and healing work. So, why this unusual dark presence?
I didn't see where the presence was coming from, but it felt like it wanted to restrict me or do some harm. Without too much effort, I simply cleared it from my energy, did a quick self-healing on my energy body, and went to sleep. I thought that was the end of it.
Yesterday, on the long train ride out to Mt. Fuji, I was meditating and found the source of the dark presence. I was doing a deep cleaning on my lower three chakras (very very fun and productive!) then decided to clean out my grounding to the Earth as well. I followed my connection down to the center of the Earth. I connected to the Divine Feminine energy of Mother Earth and was about to ride this wave of energy back to my body.
I had been working with Christ during the entire meditation, and just as I was leaving, he motioned to something behind me. I looked over and saw the dark presence which I felt a few night's earlier. From this deep meditation space, I recognized it as part of myself. It wasn't something outside at all, simply part of myself which I had judged and discarded long ago. The healing workshop had brought it back into my awareness as I expanded my capacity for healing.
I took a few minutes to work with this discarded part of myself, first removing all the "dark" judgment energy which I had surrounded it with. With each self-judgment I lifted, the figure became brighter. I could see the difficult times and the pain I had been in when I made these judgments. With compassion, I let it all go. With the judgments released, I could still feel the uncertainty and self-doubt that I carried at that time. I cleared these as well and welcomed myself with a big loving hug. As I hugged this part of myself, it integrated deeply inside me. I checked with Christ and my guide Rebecca to make sure this was the right path. They were both happy I was finally taking this self-healing step and assured me that my feelings were real. This was not a dark entity, but simply a discarded part of self.
After integration, I could feel more light within. I then gently floated back to my body and continued my meditation.
I love the surprised that come in my meditations. It is so often the case that sometime dark or scary turns out to be my own fear or judgment. I'm am so happy that I am applying this realization to myself as well as the outside world!
My life is full of beautiful moments of bright light and spiritual illumination. When I find myself in pain or frustrated, I look for the cause inside and help it release. So, I was surprised on Saturday night when I felt a strong "dark" presence waiting for me as I laid down for bed. I had taught a beautiful workshop during the day on "Sacred Heart Healing". The day included teaching about being a healer as well as activation and healing work. So, why this unusual dark presence?
I didn't see where the presence was coming from, but it felt like it wanted to restrict me or do some harm. Without too much effort, I simply cleared it from my energy, did a quick self-healing on my energy body, and went to sleep. I thought that was the end of it.
Yesterday, on the long train ride out to Mt. Fuji, I was meditating and found the source of the dark presence. I was doing a deep cleaning on my lower three chakras (very very fun and productive!) then decided to clean out my grounding to the Earth as well. I followed my connection down to the center of the Earth. I connected to the Divine Feminine energy of Mother Earth and was about to ride this wave of energy back to my body.
I had been working with Christ during the entire meditation, and just as I was leaving, he motioned to something behind me. I looked over and saw the dark presence which I felt a few night's earlier. From this deep meditation space, I recognized it as part of myself. It wasn't something outside at all, simply part of myself which I had judged and discarded long ago. The healing workshop had brought it back into my awareness as I expanded my capacity for healing.
I took a few minutes to work with this discarded part of myself, first removing all the "dark" judgment energy which I had surrounded it with. With each self-judgment I lifted, the figure became brighter. I could see the difficult times and the pain I had been in when I made these judgments. With compassion, I let it all go. With the judgments released, I could still feel the uncertainty and self-doubt that I carried at that time. I cleared these as well and welcomed myself with a big loving hug. As I hugged this part of myself, it integrated deeply inside me. I checked with Christ and my guide Rebecca to make sure this was the right path. They were both happy I was finally taking this self-healing step and assured me that my feelings were real. This was not a dark entity, but simply a discarded part of self.
After integration, I could feel more light within. I then gently floated back to my body and continued my meditation.
I love the surprised that come in my meditations. It is so often the case that sometime dark or scary turns out to be my own fear or judgment. I'm am so happy that I am applying this realization to myself as well as the outside world!
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